Why Gen-X Never Had FOMO (And What That Means for Today’s Teens)

FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, is everywhere these days. Teens and young adults feel pressured to be at every event, try every trend, and post every experience. But for those of us who grew up before the internet, FOMO wasn’t even in our vocabulary. As a Gen-Xer, I realize now that we simply didn’t know what we were missing and that made all the difference.

Back in the day, if you weren’t in the know, you just… weren’t. There were no push notifications, no curated feeds, no viral event invites. Newspapers, flyers on telephone poles, and word of mouth were the only ways to find out what was happening. If you missed something, you might hear about it later, feel a twinge of regret, and move on. There was no running tally of what you “should” be doing. You just did what was in front of you.

Today, information is everywhere. Social media, group chats, and endless event calendars mean you always know what’s happening and what you’re missing. The upside? You’re never out of the loop. The downside? You’re never out of the loop. This constant awareness creates a subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) pressure to keep up, to do more, to be everywhere. It’s no wonder FOMO is so widespread.

For Gen X, missing out was just part of life. For today’s teens, it can feel like a personal failing. If you’re not at ACL this weekend, are you even living? If you’re not posting about the latest trend, are you falling behind? The fear isn’t just about missing an event so much as it is about missing out on belonging, on identity, on being “enough.”

Here’s the truth: You don’t have to be everywhere. You don’t have to say yes to everything. The age of information is a powerful tool, but it’s started to guide our expectations of what we should be doing, rather than what we actually want. Just because you know about every opportunity doesn’t mean you have to take them all. Sometimes, what you want is downtime, or something quieter, or nothing at all.

So, what do we do to help teens (and even Adults) manage FOMO? Let’s start with Reality-Testing Your Thoughts. FOMO is often fueled by beliefs like “Everyone else is having more fun than me” or “If I miss this, I’ll never fit in.” Stop and ask: Is that actually true? Or is it just what you see online? Most people only post highlights, not the full picture.

Now, let’s clarify your own values. Instead of letting social media dictate what’s important, take time to figure out what you actually want. What activities matter to you? What do you genuinely enjoy? It’s okay to say no to things that don’t align with your values.

Don’t forget to practice self-compassion. Missing out doesn’t make you less worthy. Everyone skips things. Sometimes it’s by choice, and sometimes it’s by circumstance. Treat yourself with the same understanding you’d offer a friend.

Limiting Social Media Exposure is also key. If scrolling is making you anxious, take a break. Set boundaries! Maybe checking once a day, or unfollowing accounts that trigger comparison can release you from the doom scroll cycle. Remember, you are in control of what you see.

Always focus on the present. Instead of worrying about what you’re missing, pay attention to what you’re doing right now. Mindfulness, even in small doses, can help reduce anxiety and increase satisfaction with your current experience.

You can also normalize missing out. Remind yourself (and your kids) that it’s normal and even healthy not to do everything. Rest and downtime are essential for mental health.

Finally, talk about it. If FOMO is overwhelming, talk to someone like a friend, parent, or even your therapist. Naming the feeling can reduce its power.

In closing, FOMO isn’t anything new…it’s just much louder now. The antidote isn’t more activity, but more intention. Take a page from the Gen-X playbook: sometimes, ignorance really is bliss. Let’s help the next generation focus less on what they’re missing and more on what truly matters to them. And if the pressure gets too intense, just remember there’s real strength in setting boundaries and choosing what’s right for you.